Episode 18. Hurdle2Hope®️ Stories: Meet Mariah McInnes - Navigating a Whipple Procedure

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In a world where unexpected health diagnoses often halt dreams, the story of Mariah MacInnes stands as a compelling testament to the power of resilience and hope. Featured in the eighteenth episode of "Wellbeing Interrupted," titled "Hurdle2Hope® Stories: Meet Mariah MacInnes," host Teisha Rose delves into how Mariah turned her health challenges into a springboard for personal and professional growth, demonstrating a true Hurdle2Hope story.

 

Early Diagnosis of Carcinoid Tumor: Understanding the Impact

 

Diagnosed in her mid-twenties with a carcinoid tumour, Mariah was thrust into the daunting world of significant medical interventions. Faced with the prospect of a Whipple procedure—a complex surgery affecting the pancreas, bile ducts, and intestines—she encountered numerous physical and psychological challenges. In this section, Mariah shares the profound impact of her diagnosis, detailing the emotional journey and the resilience required to navigate this turbulent period. Her candid recount offers invaluable insights into managing life-altering health conditions.

 

The Power of Support in Medical Recovery

 

The road to recovery was paved with challenges, but Mariah was not alone. The unwavering support from her family and friends played a critical role during her recovery. This network provided not only emotional solace but also practical help, proving indispensable as she navigated the complexities of her recovery process. Mariah emphasises the importance of a supportive community, illustrating how vital emotional and physical support are in healing and why no one should face such challenges alone.

 

Resilience After Major Surgery: Continuing Life’s Pursuits

Despite the complexities of the Whipple procedure, Mariah's determination to not let her condition define her life shines through prominently. She continued to forge ahead with her dreams, adapting her goals to fit her new realities. This section explores how Mariah maintained her focus on her aspirations, including extensive travel and professional development, showcasing that life does not just continue but can thrive post-recovery.

 

Transforming Life Post-Recovery: Embracing the Digital Nomad Lifestyle

 

Following her recovery, Mariah embarked on an exciting new chapter. She transformed her life’s trajectory by embracing the digital nomad lifestyle, which allowed her to merge her passion for travel with her career aspirations. This segment of her journey highlights how she turned her dreams into reality, finding love and exploring new cultures. Mariah’s narrative is not just about recovery; it's about seizing life’s offerings and transforming challenges into stepping stones for personal fulfilment and happiness.

 

Conclusion: Attracting Unimagined Possibilities

 

Mariah MacInnes's story transcends the typical narrative of medical recovery. It is an inspiring account of leveraging personal challenges to enrich life's journey, demonstrating that you really can attract unimagined possibilities after a life changing diagnosis.

 

Discover More and Connect:

Follow Mariah’s adventures and professional insights on Instagram: @mariah_contentqueen.

Learn more about Mariah's journey and access additional resources on her website: Content Queen Mariah.

 

Transcript of Episode 18: Hurdle2Hope® Stories: Meet Mariah MacInnes

 

Hey there, Teisha here, and welcome to episode eighteen of Wellbeing Interrupted. I'm very excited because this episode is different from the ones I've done before. I'm doing my first interview on Wellbeing Interrupted as I really want to share Hurdle2Hope® Stories.

As I've mentioned before, I don't want this to be all about myself. And today, I'm so excited to share the story of Mariah McInnes. I actually met Mariah the week I was diagnosed with breast cancer. We were on a Zoom call with others while doing a course, and I wrote Mariah's name down because she reminded me of myself in my twenties. She has this amazing story that she'll share with you.

As Mariah shares her story, just remember that many of us have had our lives and wellbeing interrupted by illness, but there's still hope to have amazing experiences. When you're lying in a hospital bed, unable to move, or sitting in a doctor's or surgeon's office being told about scary surgeries, it can be hard to believe that amazing things could still happen to you.

So, I really hope you enjoy this first Hurdle2Hope® Story.

 

HURDLE2HOPE STORY MEETING MARIAH MCINNES

 

Teisha: So, welcome, Mariah! Thank you so much for being my very first guest on Wellbeing Interrupted. I was really excited about having you here because I think you embody Hurdle to Hope, which everyone by now will know is my business. Your story is so powerful, and you're the perfect first guest. So welcome.

Mariah: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. I was saying to my partner that this is my first podcast about my journey. Usually, it gets weaved into business podcasts with a bit of, "Oh, tell us a little bit more about your journey," but this is my first ever podcast dedicated to my health journey. So I'm excited.

Teisha: Excellent! And I guess, being the first one, this is great because we'll sort of set the tone for what these podcast interviews are going to be like. It's really a relaxed chat, so I don't want my guests to be nervous. Feel free to share what you feel comfortable with. You don't have to share everything, but it's so important, I think, for others to connect to our stories. Because when you're going through the stress of a challenge to your health, it's really good to know that other people have been through that and they've come through it as well.

Teisha: So let's start because a few years ago something pretty major happened to you. I'll let you share how your life dramatically changed. Only really recently, only a few years ago…

Mariah: Yeah, I just had my Whipple's Versiary, uh this like a month ago. My three-year anniversary. Um, so yeah I was twenty-six. I was a partygoer. Big time. And I'd started my business,  just before COVID. Yeah I had things like I had a gallbladder removal in 2017. Nothing major. Um, but I always had complications. 

And it wasn't until 2018 that I couldn't nearly couldn't board the flight to Vietnam with my parents. We're going to go on a family holiday. I've never been overseas with my parents before. So that was an experience. And we're like, what is going on? Why are you in so much pain? And I remember having a chat with, can't remember how it came out, my mom is a bit of an oversharer. I show she must've been telling everyone how dramatic it was.

And a woman on the tour that we were on in Vietnam said that happened to her. I had my gallbladder removed, and it turned out I had a stone still there and they just didn't get it. So when you go home just go to your local GP and just ask for an ultrasound. Don't tell him that you think there's something wrong because sometimes people, well some GPs, depends because there are amazing medical out there, and we talked about that yesterday, some say you don't have that and then they can shut you down. 

But uh I went in, I went in with a plan and I asked for an ultrasound on my gallbladder area because I was experiencing pain. And yeah, I had a really amazing GP and she offered me the ultrasound. And when the ultrasound come back there was a spot on my liver. And I love that sometimes how you interpret things. You're like what does that even mean? What is a spot on your liver? And you're trying to explain it to your family that asks me to count to one question I'm like I don't know. There was probably like a complicated name to it and I didn't know what it was. So it's a spot.

And I was living in Melbourne. As I said, I was a partygoer. I just like, started my side hustle or I was thinking about starting Content Queen as a side hustle. And then I went through a series of tests for a long time. And because of COVID, you know you'd get a test and the result would come back that you know they were, like inconclusive come back again but then you'd go on a lockdown.

And in that time I'd left Melbourne and moved back to Gippsland because it was just there was no point living in paying rent in Melbourne when I could stay with my family and pay less rent you know so I moved back home. I started my full-time job as a business owner. So like I was like living the dream. Like you know obviously we were in lockdown but my plan was to travel full time I was like had the you know the world was my oyster I just have truly felt like that I just felt so excited even though we were in lockdown I had hope that I was going to travel as soon as the borders open like it was happening.

Um but I was you know kinda getting these results and these tests. Wasn't really sure what was going on. The spot on my liver was sort of nothing to worry about but they were still kind of doing tests. I got told to go off the um the pill I was on the pill at the time. You know I was told to cut back my alcohol I didn't. Um, that didn't happen. So I yeah got it I got my my final scan in October of 2020. My parents drove me down to Melbourne because we needed like you know you need it. No one wanted to go on their own to COVID Melbourne.

You need someone to take you because I was going to go on anesthetic. And I remember getting the paper and I remember reading it on the way home because I was just like so unbothered by these health. Like it's like oh yeah You just going to go scan like whatever. And I saw like carcinoid tumor at the bottom. And I was like, I googled it. Yeah. And I told my friend and she's like oh my god don't Google these things. Like what are you doing. Like anyway, classic Mariah just forgot about it. I worry about like what people think but I don't worry about a carcinoid tumor in your liver.

So I, yeah I just shut it off and kept working on my business plan to move to Sydney the borders had opened I was so excited and then I had a meeting over the phone with my liver specialist and she told me you have a benign tumour on your bowel. And I was like oh what does this mean. And she's like so…all over this duration they were actually looking at my bowel and not my liver after the liver They were kind of like you know just searching…And you know like I think it's good that they don't tell you too much because I think you know you get too worried I think it's best to know when they know you know.

So I was like oh I'm moving to Sydney, what does that mean? And she's like well um that's fine. Just move to Sydney and we'll sort that when you get there, but it's benign.

No worries. But I got off the phone and I cried my eyes out because my body wasn't functioning how I thought it was going to.  Yeah I was so sad I was so incredibly sad I have this video that I filmed and I was just bawling. I had no idea what was to come I was like a benign tumour. Do I need surgery? Do I not I moved to Sydney and everything just goes like a blur and I'm sure you feel the same Teish with you you know your experiences it's like, one minute you're like benign tumour And then the next thing I know I'm in a Sydney surgeon’s office on the day before New Year's Eve. With an Italian backpacker friend who drove me there and didn't understand much English.

And the surgeon's like can you fill out the document I'm like he barely knows me let alone like, what's on that form So like I'm gonna have to fill it out and listen to you at the same time. And he told me you have a tumour on your bowel We think it's linked to your pancreas. And um…if it's uh, spread to pancreas. You need a Whipple's operation. And I was like what is a Whipple. And he's drawing pictures and he's trying to explain what it is And I'm like you know we have to remove half of pancreas we have to remove part of the small bowel and part of your stomach and we have to completely realign your digestive system He's like it's very major surgery. And I was like uh, I'll take the the like the first surgery option. Like just just take the you know the tiny benign tumor out. Like just do that. And it's like we need a few more times, you know like just, like hold tight I mean it's like two day like it's the new year you know like You meant to be like really excited about being here and all this like… 

Teisha: So when was this, Mariah? How long ago from that point?

Mariah: So as soon as I moved to Sydney in December 2020, I had my appointment with my surgeon... Um, Oh, sorry, I had my appointment with the Melbourne team at St Vincent’s, and they said we're going to move you to Sydney. And they said you'll have someone contact you, and I had a registrar of a surgeon contact me and say, "Hey, we need you to get an appointment with this surgeon. Like now." And I was like okay. So I call up the surgeon's office and like, "No, no, he's not free until February." I'm like, "Okay, give me the February appointment. Like, again, like no stress whatsoever."

So I was a little bit worried, and then the registrar calls me, "No, no, no. You need an appointment this year, now. I will call you back." And then he said, "Can you come on the 30th of December?" 

I said, Well, yeah, I think the person I was living with at the time went away on holidays, you know, New Year's holidays. And so I asked my friend, who's this Italian guy that I had met along my journeys, and he drove me there. Again, like he and I come out of this appointment crying. I'm like, "What does he mean?" And he's like, trying to hug me. He doesn't even know what's going on.

All of my family were all back in Victoria, I knew a couple of amazing people in Sydney. Yeah, I was just really lost for that period of time. And then I guess like again, it was just sort of like well, I don't really know what's happening. So I didn't tell many people. I didn't tell any of my friends. I told my family, obviously. I didn't like, I had clients, I had a business, I was very active on social media. I just didn't say anything. I just didn't say anything because I just didn't know what was happening.

And then like a couple of scans, and my, um, EUS, the ultrasound, and the search that the guy that did it wasn't the best. Anyway, he woke, he come in, and he said, "Oh, carcinoid tumour. Yep, Steve Jobs died of that real quick." That’s the first thing he says to me.

Teisha: Uh, that's unreal. They’ve got no idea,

Mariah:  No, like tell me your story. Who are you?" And I'm like, "Oh, my name's Mariah." Like, "Yeah, I asked him too, my Steve Jobs died of that real quick too." And I was like, "Oh, cool. Thank you. Fine." It was awful.

Anyway, so I wake up from the ultrasound, and he says, "Uh, I didn't bother doing a biopsy of your pancreas. Uh, you need a Whipple. I'm not even bothering. I'm just going to send you." And yeah, so it's just like nah, you need a hundred percent. And I had the weekend to kind of process it, but it was hard. Like I was manifesting, like I was very, you know, going into my spiritual side and manifesting that it's, you know, just the bowel and I have this small operation and I'm back to work in two weeks or one week. I was really manifesting it. 

But um, one thing that we'll talk about I guess is like, I guess now looking back, I'm like yeah, but imagine knowing you have a tumour in your pancreas, but they're not worried about it. So, they just do a tiny operation on you. Like I just didn't know how that would impact me long term. 

So, I had so by the time I got to my surgeon's office on the Monday so that was the Friday that I got this ultrasound appointment with him on the Monday I'd kind of processed it a little bit, um but not as much. Because then when I saw my surgeon I was like, "Alright, so like how much time do I need off work?" And he's like, "You need like, more. I don't think you understand how serious this surgery is. Like, yeah, you need to have at least a month off any work. Like you need to just like close your business for like a month." 

Yeah, and like you know how devastating is that for me. 

Teisha: Like you know, just started

Mariah: I've just started out being full time in my business. It was going really well I had a good amount of clients. I was living in Sydney I had rent to pay. Like it was terrifying. Um, so yeah that was the start of the journey of sort of understanding, you know it's always a long story isn't it. But um, yeah just kind of trying to process it but it was hard. Like you feel so cheated.

I had stopped drinking in December, December 27 was my last drink in 2020, and I decided to stop drinking until I worked out what the hell was going on, but I had all this like anticipation that you know she'd be back out there. The borders will open. You'd be travelling the world, you know, you get drunk in thousands you know hundreds of countries like meeting thousands of people like that was just kind of my mindset. But at the same time, there was like this really like, "This is unfair. Like how did this happen?" And it's this concept of, "How did I get here? How did this happen?" Like can you relate so much?

Teisha: I'm sorry to hear that. Have you had any health issues beforehand, or was this like whoa, out of the blue?

Mariah: Um, it was yes and no. Now that I think back, um… but I had my gallbladder removed in 2017. So I'd, yeah, I went from being like reasonably okay to... had this gallbladder attack on the Westgate bridge. It's awful. Um, driving home from work on a Friday afternoon. To getting my gallbladder out in 2017. That was the end of 2016. And then after that, my life had changed a lot. Like I couldn't process a lot of fatty food as you can after a gallbladder, but um, some of my friends had had this out and they're like, "We just don't experience what you experience." 

Like even though I love to drink, you know, if I had a drink and cheese and dips and you know, all the fun like, you know, you go on girls' weekend away, I'd spend part of it on the toilet, not sure what end things are going to come out of because I felt unwell. And it wasn't a hangover thing. It was a general like, "No, no, no. Your body's just not processing this food." I gained ten kilos, fifteen kilos in three years. 

Teisha: Wow.

Mariah: Yeah. There's a lot of signs. But and you know, I went to Europe in twenty nineteen and there’s a photo of me and I look like compared to now I look like... And my friends had like, "This is kind of funny." And we'll, well, let's just use humour because how do we not know you were sick? Look at you, like, "How did we not know? You look up. You're a mess." Um, but you just, you just don't know at the time. That going back, I experienced my first lot of pain in 2015 but I was going through quite a horrible relationship and break up. And I thought it was like a celiac thing but I think it was stress on my body. And my body trying to tell me like you need to start looking after yourself. 

And now you know, like you once you go through stuff, you know what your body's telling you, but at the time I just ignored it. Kept getting hurt, kept going through all the stuff that I'm still processing and talking about and slowly opening up about but there were signs there that I just ignored along for a long time. And I just, I was a really like, I was the kid at school that if my friends didn't text me back, like I couldn't sleep. I felt physically sick. I like, you know, like I was that kid. And so you know, there are all those signs that you know, stress in the body. I'm reading "The Body Keeps a Score" at the moment and it's true, it totally does because it just makes sense, you know, and I was always that little kid that had like, bladder issues, kidney issues, I always have a sore stomach. Like my dad now he's like, "Oh my God. Like signs were there a long time ago." I don't know how long I had the tumour for. But it missed my lymph nodes very like by a tiny bit. So, um, yeah. Yeah, I guess quite a while because carcinoid tumours are extremely slow growth. So, um, to get to that point I probably would have had them for a while and my doctor seems to think that as well. 

Teisha: So, you had the appointment and were trying to process it all. For those listening, we know if you've sat in a doctor's room, it's almost like this out-of-body experience. You think, what's been said? Is this happening to me? It doesn't make sense. But then sometimes you can't process much because next you're on an operating table having parts of your body removed. How did you cope with that intense period in hospital?

Mariah: Yeah, it was hard. I ended up being in hospital for a month because I had my lungs collapse, day 3 or 4. And then my JP drains—one of them they thought was ready to come out and it wasn't—so I had a buildup of fluid that they had to drain again. I ended up leaving the hospital with my handbag, my Gucci bag, and had that drain removed ten days after I was discharged. There were really hard days.

I think I was lucky I had a nice view of Bondi Junction. I think they say hospital environments really do impact your healing. My parents came every day. They spent thousands of dollars on Airbnb’s to stay with me in Sydney, coming up from Melbourne. They came in every visiting hour, every day. They texted me in the morning, texted me when they went to sleep, and came on the dot at four PM for visitor hours. I think there might have been two sessions, I can't remember now, but they would come to every visitor hour. Even one of my friends flew up to come and see me, two of my friends actually. I had friends in Sydney that came to visit me which does make a difference, but there are just days where you can't stop crying because you just can't believe that this is what's happening.

Even things like going to the toilet is so hard. I mean, I couldn't sit on the toilet because I couldn't breathe, I couldn't get enough air in. It felt like I was at high altitude, like in Bolivia—it's the highest city in the world—but you feel like you can't even push a wee out. Your body is so sore, and I was always hunched. I've got nearly a thirty-centimetre scar from my sacral chakra, just above my pubic bone. I was always really protective but yeah, it was hard. Some days were okay and good, but there are just those days where, unfortunately, I wanted to die. That's how I felt sometimes. I said to my parents one day because I had a friend who passed away from leukemia when I was eighteen, seventeen. And I said to them, "I understand why he'd had enough. I haven't even gone through nearly as much as he has, but I get it."

But then there were those moments where you'd meditate or you'd journal and then you're like, "It's going to be okay." So I would try and find those little things that made me feel good. 'Big Bang Theory' was one of them. I still cry every time I watch it because it reminds me of that experience. Colouring. The social worker brought me in coloured pencils. I was also doing a seven-month chakra program just before I found out I got sick. And I did that. It was one session every week and that just helped me so much. One session was like an embodied dance, and I'm doing it from my bed. I really did try to find the things that made me feel good. But on the days I didn't feel good, I just surrender to it because there was just no way. No one could say anything to me that was going to make that day okay. So I just let it go until I could bring myself to journal or bring myself to do a meditation, and then I'd kind of get back into that positive headspace.

Teisha: And I think that's great that you found that because I know in my twenties when I was in hospital, I was too scared to cry because I thought if I do open the floodgates I won't then be able to have the ability to focus on getting walking again. So I was scared of that. I think it's really important for people to know that it's okay to feel the absolute fear because it is so scary what you're going through. And at moments, I was fortunate as well to have amazing friends and family coming to visit, but there are moments at night in a hospital where you're hearing things buzzing, you're hearing nurses talking outside in the corridors and you feel so alone. There's nothing that prepares you almost for that fear. But finding activities like you did, that's great so for people listening, just trying to shift that focus and do something like colouring. Why not? Get your mind onto that and that's mindfulness, you know. That's great that you fell upon that without probably realising exactly that you're doing great things, which is fantastic, really good.

And then post-surgery, and this is what I find. You're almost in this automatic pilot. You know you go to the surgeon, you hear the news, that's out of body, straight in the last floor you get the surgery and all. And then a month later, two months later you're trying to re-enter your life as it was. And then that's where the whatever hits the fan because you think, how can I do this? Like I'm different now. I don't know if I want to do this. I don't. So what was that process like for you?

Mariah: Yeah, that, oh my god, when I came out of hospital, I…well I lost two clients which was really hard on my mindset. I was like, you've just gone through the hardest surgery of your life and you're upset because you've lost two clients. But they obviously, like you know, I'd gone and then I'd come back and they're like, well you know, we've kind of reassessed things. Yeah…The start I was really gentle on myself and that was good, I needed that. 

But then once I started getting interest, you know, new people wanted to start working with me. I had this massive opportunity to work with a startup, with like you know, I think it was, like five figure month. I earned the most in my business I'd ever and I was like, yep, I'm taking it, and it killed me. And I went back to Melbourne, then got stuck in lockdown in Melbourne. And I remember mum and dad would come home from work and I hadn't even eaten lunch. And I was on the couch crying because I just can't get all the work done that I thought I could. 

And they're like, what are you doing to yourself? And mum literally had to make food and put it on the counter so that I would eat lunch. Otherwise, like, I would just forget. And I just wasn't looking out and that's just so crazy to go through such hell and then not spend time focusing on your body. But like this old me was like, yeah, I can do it. I can grow and scale my business and I can do all the things. And but it was also hard because I wasn't drinking alcohol anymore. Going on dating apps was weird. Like, it felt weird. I didn't feel sexy or like none of these things that I felt. I didn't feel any of it. 

Like my body, although I love my scar now so much, but like it was just my body and I lost so much weight. So I looked like, so if everything keeps making. Oh but I’m doing alright? Yeah, I know I lose fifteen or ten kilos so just, you know, just get, just get two tumours. Um, but yeah, I, like, I just didn't like the whole dating app thing. It was just, it was really hard for me to enter the life but I was pushing a lot, pushing a lot on that. And then I burnt out like I burnt out. And then I started to get sick again and I did end up having another surgery in 2022. 

But, yeah I just, I pushed too much and I had a complete identity crisis. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I wanted. I couldn't remember why I started my business. Like, I couldn't remember anything. I just, like, and I also took on the identity of being sick. I was sick. I can't do that. I'm sick. I can't. And like, I'd get really frustrated when people are like, come on, come, can't, I'm sick, I can't. Like obviously, doctors recommend don't gym, don't run. Uh, but I was completely like, I can't do any of that, I'm sick, I can't do it. 

And I completely identified myself in that. And it was hard. Like, it was really hard. No one talks about like the surgeon's so worried about getting that stuff out of your body. Yeah. But no one helps you. And yeah, you have the social workers that come to the hospital. She never came back. She gave me some, I stole the pencils she gave me because she never came back for them. I was like well they're mine now. But there's no support after that. And it's really lonely and I didn't know anyone that had a Whipple's that was at my age. Usually, it's done for pancreatic cancer over the age of sixty on average or fifty-eight. I've been doing a lot of research for my book. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. I started creating content to feel less alone. So I created content on TikTok. Um, I tried to be mindful of what I shared because I didn't want people to diagnose themselves. Yes. Um, but I because I was still that sick victim I think my old content on TikTok is a little bit different to what I create now which, yeah, I've kind of but I think you do have to go through that experience to learn where you want to be next.

Teisha: Yeah, and it's really interesting as well. I think I call myself a slow learner. I had so many massive MS relapses in a row, and I kept thinking, "Come on, you know you need to prioritize your health and well-being. What are you doing?" But it's the same. You know, I was still the same perfectionist; I still had the drive to do well in what I was doing. You know, I had the career change, brought the same mindset to it. You still push yourself. You know, you start your business, you're still the same as you were in corporate. You still pushed yourself because I think we take some of our self-worth as to how and what we achieve, you know, in our business and, after, you know, other aspects of our life as well. So, that is a tough lesson to learn. And it really is, and we've talked about this before, about living in alignment. So you're really thinking, "Okay, my health and well-being, I don't want to be back in the hospital again. Health and well-being is my priority. How do I honour that? How do I ensure that remains on top?" And it's big changes that have to happen. And that's really tough because I think sometimes we think, "Whipple's has won," or "MS has won," or "cancer has won," because I'm not the person I was before. So that's really tough.

Teisha: Um, so how did you start? Because, if we fast forward, let's give everyone a bit of an insight into, you know, how you flick to the end of the story to say, "You know, things are great." So where you are now is absolutely amazing, but somehow you've gone from that frustration and getting sick, over to changing your life incredibly. So I guess, yeah, give us an insight into where you are as I talk to you right now, and how did you sort of manage to get making these massive changes.

Mariah: Yeah, well, I spoiled a little bit, I am in South America. Um, so, yeah, I'm right now as I speak to you I'm in South America. I'm travelling with my partner who is South American, and he was a big part of me changing my life, to be honest. I always wanted to be a digital nomad. That's why I started my business. Always wanted to travel. That was my absolute goal. I worked so hard to get there, and I'll never forget having a session with my coach, sort of in that identity crisis I was, I just felt every day I felt garbage. I didn't want to wake up. Like, I just felt so bad. It's like that's the most depressed I've ever felt. Like even in hospital, I felt like I wasn't as bad because I felt like you had something to work towards even though I had my business, I had so many things. I just, I dreaded it, I did, I wasn't aligned to where I was at in that time of my life. And obviously, COVID doesn't help, I don't, it didn't help anyone. Like I'm uh in this crazy lockdown.

And also like there was a part of my journey because I didn't know if I had cancer. Like there was no indication that I did until the nurse said to me, "Oh so what cancer do you have?" I'm like, "I don't have cancer." She's like, "Oh okay." And it took like a month for them to tell me that I did have cancer but they've got it all. And I still see my oncologist now, and I have an awesome team, but I guess it was also that like, "Yeah, like that. Well, like you know, can I do these things? Like you know, I've still got doctors to see, I've still got tests to get, I'm still not out of the woods, you know what I mean?"

Like there's still that mindset. And I remember my coach saying, like, "What…okay, your goal was to travel. That's all you ever wanted to do if tomorrow the borders open…Yeah, would you travel?" So regardless of your sickness, the way your business is, that now, can you try? I said no. Uh, I work like…crazy woman, I work seven days. I, well we need to fix this. So shout out to my coach Leticia Andrews, I still work with her now. She really supported me on like the vision, what do you want regardless of being sick, regardless of having too many clients that you can't keep up with, what do you want? Why did you start this? And it was travel. It was always travel.

So she said, book yourself a holiday as soon as you can. Take time off work and find yourself. She said, "Go alone, go into the woods." Well, I wasn't ready for that. My best friend as soon as lockdown had sort of finished, not in Melbourne but in Country Victoria, and I went to a small town called Bright. And if anyone listened before, it is a beautiful town. And my friend really wanted to go. And I was like, "I've already been but alright, let's go." And we, because when you're with your girlfriends, you're very single, you get on social uh dating app. 

And I find this guy called Jean, I'm like, "Jean”. That's, and he's laughing as I'm saying, "That's an old woman's name but let's swipe you up. Beautiful smile." Anyway, I start talking to him and he says, "I'm from Columbia" and I turned to my friend, I said, "I have to meet him, I'm not an Australian, it's always been that Mariah was going to end with an international partner. Like there's no question about it, I always liked exotic." Anyway, so we, we catch up with him and literally like the rest is history. We're like, "You are my person." And we had so many of the same goals. Like he had a marketing degree. He was here studying English. He loved travelling but always wanted to travel, that was his goal. And I was like, "Well I work in marketing. I always wanted to travel," like it was literally like meeting your soulmate. 

Like I can't explain it in any other way. Like I was a bit hesitant because you don't know, like you know it's lots of stereotypes about South American men, but they are very genuine. Amazing people, I think it's just stereotypes. Um, but you know, you're always very hesitant when you meet someone, "Oh yeah right oh I've heard all that before," but no, he like obviously it was just, it was you know one of those moments that's like love at first sight, but also like it takes time to grow and flourish. But completely, he really, you know, saw that there was more to life than just you know working. Like I really started to prioritize growing that relationship because that's what you have to do always. But when you first start a relationship, you really have to nurture it. And it felt like it gave me something to focus on, you know like myself, the inner work because a lot of inner work comes when you meet your person because then all, yes, old relationship stuff comes up. So I have to do a lot of inner work on the trauma of that but then like heal it five hours away. 

So like we did long distance for quite a while. So there's just a lot of different commitments that I had to focus on. It wasn't my business; it wasn't being sick. And there was a few hiccups along the road, like the first time I went to see him for the weekend. We may have indulged in food and I may have had what we called a Whipples attack which, um, it's not pretty. Anyway, you know you can talk about it really, really. I'm in your relationship, you can get to anything, right? Like, you know farts and poos if you talk about it in the first, you know few weeks and they don't think you're, you know I think the whole gals don't poo is ridiculous, but you know there are men that…we got over that really early. And then uh we just worked together towards what we wanted to create. And then we moved to the Gold Coast, um, we and then we decided stuff it. Like let's…let's travel full time and we lived in our car for five months which is just wild, like thinking back like what were we thinking. You know I was like, you know who knows with my bowel, like what's going to happen. But we it just you just don't overthink it, right? And that's the process. And we've travelled Europe. Um and now we're in South America. We're at the end of our journey. We've been here for five months. My Spanish is a little bit better but not much better. But I just have more purpose than just, like some days don't get me wrong. That you know being quote-unquote like life-changing illness you know like having these things that always remind you, hello, I'm here. 

But um, I listen a lot better than I did before. And I'm a slow learner, I'm still learning every day. Like I still like Easter, we've still bought chocolate even though I know sweet kills me. You know I know there's certain things that don't agree with me and I still eat them. I'm very good with the onion and garlic now, I do very much call my boundary on that, but I think like, yeah, just being able to work towards something, having a dream and having a goal. And then also like having the people in the support network around you to make that possible. And I had you know my coach, I had friends that like my parents were really supportive of my journey, but having Mitch, like it made it less scary. I had someone to do it with. Because I've ended up in hospital when I lived in Sydney on my own. And my parents said to me like, "We're so glad we, you met Mitch because we know you want to travel but we sleep better at night knowing that if something happens you have someone there." And I was always that strong independent woman, don't need no man. But you know, sometimes you just, you know you have to, you need that support. And like, call an ambulance for yourself to go to hospital at 2am in the morning is not fun. And I, I don't want to do this alone. I don't want to do it alone. You know if there's days where I do have you know a bit of a moment, you know he'll buy food, cook, make sure I eat good, you know he meant like I got sick in like uh two months ago, three months ago. He, you know, bought all the fresh fruit, made me juice, like brought me water. And like, it, you can't, and when you're sick and you're on your own, you don't look after yourself because you can't. Yes. Like, you, you actually, like, you know I couldn't get out of bed. And if I got out of bed, it'll scare the toilet. So, yeah, I think having that support network, having that dream, and that's a lot of what you teach, right? Like the fundamentals of what you teach, and meeting you and you really like supporting me on my journey, has is a constant reminder and um just like going strength to strength, because I have these toolkits or these like this road map in place to go like, you know what's the next dream. And I know like, we're not going to travel for the rest of our lives but we have so many exciting plansthat I know like I'm going to be here for a long time. Like, there's no option. Like, that's what it's about. Like I'm here for the long haul, you know. Um, so I think having those plans and you know, doing those things like, the vision work and the visualization, and I'm really big on that because, um, yeah, that's how I get excited. I'm, I'm very like, I have a massive imagination. My dreams are wild. They've always been wild. Um, and I'm the type of person that's driving and like thinking about my wedding or know thinking about something or like I'm on the bus and visualising my first dance at my wedding. 

Like, the other things that, um, I've always been like that as long as I can remember. So I try to hold on to that as much as I can. 

Teisha: And I think that's amazing, and I think what happens is when we go through—and this is what happened to me—when you go through the actual trauma and that real dark period of doctors' rooms, tests, surgeries, all of that, you do give up on your dreams. And that's when you need them more than ever because to get out of that darkness you need some momentum to get you going, and what better momentum than having this amazing dream.

And what I love about what you've done is you have these dreams but you're still prepared to do things differently. You know, even you did the out of the back of the car, living in the car instead of taking on South America straight up, you know, COVID or not, let's test it. Let's see what happens here. And then okay, that gives me confidence. So then let's, you know, step it up. Let's do something else.

And it really sometimes when I'm saying unimagined possibilities can happen, I think people are thinking, 'Yeah, that this sounds a bit of a, you know, BS or whatever,' but it's so true. Like you meeting your partner like Mitch, is a beautiful person, and having him by your side. And no one will see this, but as Mariah's talking with her hands, you see her beautiful ring now on her finger.

And when you're lying in hospital thinking I'm alone and you know you don't want to be hanging out with your parents all the time in your twenties, you wouldn't have been thinking, 'I'm going to be proposed to.' Where were you when you were proposed to? 

Mariah: In Colombia, in the north of Colombia in the Caribbean, actually, on an island in the Caribbean.

Teisha: Like if someone said if you had thoughts on, 'Yeah I was dreaming of being proposed to by a Colombian in the Caribbean,' they'd be like, 'Well you know, get going with that,' but, you know, it's incredible all these amazing things are happening. 

And what I love as well is not only you're doing the travel, it's really difficult continuing on with your career. When you've got an illness, I've found that perhaps my greatest challenge, but you've done that as well.

Teisha: So, welcome, Mariah! Thank you so much for being my very first guest on Wellbeing Interrupted. I was really excited about having you here because I think you embody Hurdle to Hope, which everyone by now will know is my business. Your story is so powerful, and you're the perfect first guest. So welcome.

Mariah: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited. I was saying to my partner that this is my first podcast about my journey. Usually, it gets weaved into business podcasts with a bit of, "Oh, tell us a little bit more about your journey," but this is my first ever podcast dedicated to my health journey. So I'm excited.

Teisha: Excellent! And I guess, being the first one, this is great because we'll sort of set the tone for what these podcast interviews are going to be like. It's really a relaxed chat, so I don't want my guests to be nervous. Feel free to share what you feel comfortable with. You don't have to share everything, but it's so important, I think, for others to connect to our stories. Because when you're going through the stress of a challenge to your health, it's really good to know that other people have been through that and they've come through it as well.

Teisha: So let's start because a few years ago something pretty major happened to you. I'll let you share how your life dramatically changed. Only really recently, only a few years ago…

Mariah: Yeah, I just had my Whipple's Versiary, uh this like a month ago. My three-year anniversary. Um, so yeah I was twenty-six. I was a partygoer. Big time. And I'd started my business, just before COVID. Yeah I had things like I had a gallbladder removal in 2017. Nothing major. Um, but I always had complications.

And it wasn't until 2018 that I couldn't nearly couldn't board the flight to Vietnam with my parents. We're going to go on a family holiday. I've never been overseas with my parents before. So that was an experience. And we're like, what is going on? Why are you in so much pain? And I remember having a chat with, can't remember how it came out, my mum is a bit of an oversharer. I show she must've been telling everyone how dramatic it was.

And a woman on the tour that we were on in Vietnam said that happened to her. I had my gallbladder removed, and it turned out I had a stone still there and they just didn't get it. So when you go home just go to your local GP and just ask for an ultrasound. Don't tell him that you think there's something wrong because sometimes people, well some GPs, depends because there are amazing medical out there, and we talked about that yesterday, some say you don't have that and then they can shut you down.

But uh I went in, I went in with a plan and I asked for an ultrasound on my gallbladder area because I was experiencing pain. And yeah, I had a really amazing GP and she offered me the ultrasound. And when the ultrasound come back there was a spot on my liver. And I love that sometimes how you interpret things. You're like what does that even mean? What is a spot on your liver? And you're trying to explain it to your family that asks me to count to one question I'm like I don't know. There was probably like a complicated name to it and I didn't know what it was. So it's a spot.

And I was living in Melbourne. As I said, I was a partygoer. I just like, started my side hustle or I was thinking about starting Content Queen as a side hustle. And then I went through a series of tests for a long time. And because of COVID, you know you'd get a test and the result would come back that you know they were, like inconclusive come back again but then you'd go on a lockdown.

And in that time I'd left Melbourne and moved back to Gippsland because it was just there was no point living in paying rent in Melbourne when I could stay with my family and pay less rent you know so I moved back home. I started my full-time job as a business owner. So like I was like living the dream. Like you know obviously we were in lockdown but my plan was to travel full time I was like had the you know the world was my oyster I just have truly felt like that I just felt so excited even though we were in lockdown I had hope that I was going to travel as soon as the borders open like it was happening.

Um but I was you know kinda getting these results and these tests. Wasn't really sure what was going on. The spot on my liver was sort of nothing to worry about but they were still kind of doing tests. I got told to go off the um the pill I was on the pill at the time. You know I was told to cut back my alcohol I didn't. Um, that didn't happen. So I yeah got it I got my my final scan in October of 2020. My parents drove me down to Melbourne because we needed like you know you need it. No one wanted to go on their own to COVID Melbourne.

You need someone to take you because I was going to go on anesthetic. And I remember getting the paper and I remember reading it on the way home because I was just like so unbothered by these health. Like it's like oh yeah You just going to go scan like whatever. And I saw like carcinoid tumor at the bottom. And I was like, I googled it. Yeah. And I told my friend and she's like oh my god don't Google these things. Like what are you doing. Like anyway, classic Mariah just forgot about it. I worry about like what people think but I don't worry about a carcinoid tumor in your liver.

So I, yeah I just shut it off and kept working on my business plan to move to Sydney the borders had opened I was so excited and then I had a meeting over the phone with my liver specialist and she told me you have a benign tumour on your bowel. And I was like oh what does this mean. And she's like so…all over this duration they were actually looking at my bowel and not my liver after the liver They were kind of like you know just searching…And you know like I think it's good that they don't tell you too much because I think you know you get too worried I think it's best to know when they know you know.

So I was like oh I'm moving to Sydney, what does that mean? And she's like well um that's fine. Just move to Sydney and we'll sort that when you get there, but it's benign. No worries. But I got off the phone and I cried my eyes out because my body wasn't functioning how I thought it was going to. Yeah I was so sad I was so incredibly sad I have this video that I filmed and I was just bawling. I had no idea what was to come I was like a benign tumour. Do I need surgery? Do I not I moved to Sydney and everything just goes like a blur and I'm sure you feel the same Teish with you you know your experiences it's like, one minute you're like benign tumour And then the next thing I know I'm in a Sydney surgeon’s office on the day before New Year's Eve. With an Italian backpacker friend who drove me there and didn't understand much English.

And the surgeon's like can you fill out the document I'm like he barely knows me let alone like, what's on that form So like I'm gonna have to fill it out and listen to you at the same time. And he told me you have a tumour on your bowel We think it's linked to your pancreas. And um…if it's uh, spread to pancreas. You need a Whipple's operation. And I was like what is a Whipple. And he's drawing pictures and he's trying to explain what it is And I'm like you know we have to remove half of pancreas we have to remove part of the small bowel and part of your stomach and we have to completely realign your digestive system He's like it's very major surgery. And I was like uh, I'll take the the like the first surgery option. Like just just take the you know the tiny benign tumor out. Like just do that. And it's like we need a few more times, you know like just, like hold tight I mean it's like two day like it's the new year you know like You meant to be like really excited about being here and all this like…

Teisha: So when was this, Mariah? How long ago from that point? 

Mariah: So as soon as I moved to Sydney in December 2020, I had my appointment with my surgeon... Um, Oh, sorry, I had my appointment with the Melbourne team at St Vincent’s, and they said we're going to move you to Sydney. And they said you'll have someone contact you, and I had a registrar of a surgeon contact me and say, "Hey, we need you to get an appointment with this surgeon. Like now." And I was like okay. So I call up the surgeon's office and like, "No, no, he's not free until February." I'm like, "Okay, give me the February appointment. Like, again, like no stress whatsoever." 

So I was a little bit worried, and then the registrar calls me, "No, no, no. You need an appointment this year, now. I will call you back." And then he said, "Can you come on the 30th of December?"

I said, Well, yeah, I think the person I was living with at the time went away on holidays, you know, New Year's holidays. And so I asked my friend, who's this Italian guy that I had met along my journeys, and he drove me there. Again, like he and I come out of this appointment crying. I'm like, "What does he mean?" And he's like, trying to hug me. He doesn't even know what's going on.

All of my family were all back in Victoria, I knew a couple of amazing people in Sydney. Yeah, I was just really lost for that period of time. And then I guess like again, it was just sort of like well, I don't really know what's happening. So I didn't tell many people. I didn't tell any of my friends. I told my family, obviously. I didn't like, I had clients, I had a business, I was very active on social media. I just didn't say anything. I just didn't say anything because I just didn't know what was happening.

And then like a couple of scans, and my, um, EUS, the ultrasound, and the search that the guy that did it wasn't the best. Anyway, he woke, he come in, and he said, "Oh, carcinoid tumour. Yep, Steve Jobs died of that real quick." That’s the first thing he says to me.

Teisha: Uh, that's unreal. They’ve got no idea, 

Mariah: No, like tell me your story. Who are you?" And I'm like, "Oh, my name's Mariah." Like, "Yeah, I asked him too, my Steve Jobs died of that real quick too." And I was like, "Oh, cool. Thank you. Fine." It was awful.

Anyway, so I wake up from the ultrasound, and he says, "Uh, I didn't bother doing a biopsy of your pancreas. Uh, you need a Whipple. I'm not even bothering. I'm just going to send you." And yeah, so it's just like nah, you need a hundred percent. And I had the weekend to kind of process it, but it was hard. Like I was manifesting, like I was very, you know, going into my spiritual side and manifesting that it's, you know, just the bowel and I have this small operation and I'm back to work in two weeks or one week. I was really manifesting it. 

But um, one thing that we'll talk about I guess is like, I guess now looking back, I'm like yeah, but imagine knowing you have a tumour in your pancreas but they're not worried about it. So they just do a tiny operation on you. Like I just didn't know how that would impact me long term.

So I had so by the time I got to my surgeon's office on the Monday so that was the Friday that I got this ultrasound appointment with him on the Monday I'd kind of processed it a little bit, um but not as much. Because then when I saw my surgeon I was like, "Alright, so like how much time do I need off work?" And he's like, "You need like, more. I don't think you understand how serious this surgery is. Like, yeah, you need to have at least a month off any work. Like you need to just like close your business for like a month." Yeah, and like you know how devastating is that for me.

Teisha: Like you know, just started

Mariah: I've just started out being full time in my business. It was going really well I had a good amount of clients. I was living in Sydney I had rent to pay. Like it was terrifying. Um, so yeah that was the start of the journey of sort of understanding, you know it's always a long story isn't it. But um, yeah just kind of trying to process it but it was hard. Like you feel so cheated.

I had stopped drinking in December, December 27 was my last drink in 2020, and I decided to stop drinking until I worked out what the hell was going on, but I had all this like anticipation that you know she'd be back out there. The borders will open. You'd be travelling the world, you know, you get drunk in thousands you know hundreds of countries like meeting thousands of people like that was just kind of my mindset. But at the same time, there was like this really like, "This is unfair. Like how did this happen?" And it's this concept of, "How did I get here? How did this happen?" Like can you relate so much?

Teisha: I'm sorry to hear that. Have you had any health issues beforehand, or was this like whoa, out of the blue?

Mariah: Um, it was yes and no. Now that I think back, um… but I had my gallbladder removed in 2017. So I'd, yeah, I went from being like reasonably okay to... had this gallbladder attack on the Westgate bridge. It's awful. Um, driving home from work on a Friday afternoon. To getting my gallbladder out in 2017. That was the end of 2016. And then after that, my life had changed a lot. Like I couldn't process a lot of fatty food as you can after a gallbladder, but um, some of my friends had had this out and they're like, "We just don't experience what you experience."

Like even though I love to drink, you know, if I had a drink and cheese and dips and you know, all the fun like, you know, you go on girls' weekend away, I'd spend part of it on the toilet, not sure what end things are going to come out of because I felt unwell. And it wasn't a hangover thing. It was a general like, "No, no, no. Your body's just not processing this food." I gained ten kilos, fifteen kilos in three years.

Teisha: Wow.

Mariah: Yeah. There's a lot of signs. But and you know, I went to Europe in twenty nineteen and there’s a photo of me and I look like compared to now I look like... And my friends had like, "This is kind of funny." And we'll, well, let's just use humour because how do we not know you were sick? Look at you, like, "How did we not know? You look up. You're a mess." Um, but you just, you just don't know at the time. That going back, I experienced my first lot of pain in 2015 but I was going through quite a horrible relationship and break up. And I thought it was like a celiac thing but I think it was stress on my body. And my body trying to tell me like you need to start looking after yourself.

And now you know, like you once you go through stuff, you know what your body's telling you, but at the time I just ignored it. Kept getting hurt, kept going through all the stuff that I'm still processing and talking about and slowly opening up about but there were signs there that I just ignored along for a long time. And I just, I was a really like, I was the kid at school that if my friends didn't text me back, like I couldn't sleep. I felt physically sick. I like, you know, like I was that kid. And so you know, there are all those signs that you know, stress in the body. I'm reading "The Body Keeps a Score" at the moment and it's true, it totally does because it just makes sense, you know, and I was always that little kid that had like, bladder issues, kidney issues, I always have a sore stomach. Like my dad now he's like, "Oh my God. Like signs were there a long time ago." I don't know how long I had the tumour for. But it missed my lymph nodes very like by a tiny bit. So, um, yeah. Yeah, I guess quite a while because carcinoid tumours are extremely slow growth. So, um, to get to that point I probably would have had them for a while and my doctor seems to think that as well.

Teisha: So, you had the appointment and were trying to process it all. For those listening, we know if you've sat in a doctor's room, it's almost like this out-of-body experience. You think, what's been said? Is this happening to me? It doesn't make sense. But then sometimes you can't process much because next you're on an operating table having parts of your body removed. How did you cope with that intense period in hospital? Mariah: Yeah, it was hard. I ended up being in hospital for a month because I had my lungs collapse, day 3 or 4. And then my JP drains—one of them they thought was ready to come out and it wasn't—so I had a buildup of fluid that they had to drain again. I ended up leaving the hospital with my handbag, my Gucci bag, and had that drain removed ten days after I was discharged. There were really hard days.

I think I was lucky I had a nice view of Bondi Junction. I think they say hospital environments really do impact your healing. My parents came every day. They spent thousands of dollars on Airbnb’s to stay with me in Sydney, coming up from Melbourne. They came in every visiting hour, every day. They texted me in the morning, texted me when they went to sleep, and came on the dot at four PM for visitor hours. I think there might have been two sessions, I can't remember now, but they would come to every visitor hour. Even one of my friends flew up to come and see me, two of my friends actually. I had friends in Sydney that came to visit me which does make a difference, but there are just days where you can't stop crying because you just can't believe that this is what's happening.

Even things like going to the toilet is so hard. I mean, I couldn't sit on the toilet because I couldn't breathe, I couldn't get enough air in. It felt like I was at high altitude, like in Bolivia—it's the highest city in the world—but you feel like you can't even push a wee out. Your body is so sore, and I was always hunched. I've got nearly a thirty-centimetre scar from my sacral chakra, just above my pubic bone. I was always really protective but yeah, it was hard. Some days were okay and good, but there are just those days where, unfortunately, I wanted to die. That's how I felt sometimes. I said to my parents one day because I had a friend who passed away from leukemia when I was eighteen, seventeen. And I said to them, "I understand why he'd had enough. I haven't even gone through nearly as much as he has, but I get it."

But then there were those moments where you'd meditate or you'd journal and then you're like, "It's going to be okay." So I would try and find those little things that made me feel good. 'Big Bang Theory' was one of them. I still cry every time I watch it because it reminds me of that experience. Colouring. The social worker brought me in coloured pencils. I was also doing a seven-month chakra program just before I found out I got sick. And I did that. It was one session every week and that just helped me so much. One session was like an embodied dance, and I'm doing it from my bed. I really did try to find the things that made me feel good. But on the days I didn't feel good, I just surrender to it because there was just no way. No one could say anything to me that was going to make that day okay. So I just let it go until I could bring myself to journal or bring myself to do a meditation, and then I'd kind of get back into that positive headspace.

Teisha: And I think that's great that you found that because I know in my twenties when I was in hospital, I was too scared to cry because I thought if I do open the floodgates I won't then be able to have the ability to focus on getting walking again. So I was scared of that. I think it's really important for people to know that it's okay to feel the absolute fear because it is so scary what you're going through. And at moments, I was fortunate as well to have amazing friends and family coming to visit, but there are moments at night in a hospital where you're hearing things buzzing, you're hearing nurses talking outside in the corridors and you feel so alone. There's nothing that prepares you almost for that fear. But finding activities like you did, that's great so for people listening, just trying to shift that focus and do something like colouring. Why not? Get your mind onto that and that's mindfulness, you know. That's great that you fell upon that without probably realising exactly that you're doing great things, which is fantastic, really good. 

And then post-surgery, and this is what I find. You're almost in this automatic pilot. You know you go to the surgeon, you hear the news, that's out of body, straight in the last floor you get the surgery and all. And then a month later, two months later you're trying to re-enter your life as it was. And then that's where the whatever hits the fan because you think, how can I do this? Like I'm different now. I don't know if I want to do this. I don't. So what was that process like for you?

Mariah: Yeah, that, oh my god, when I came out of hospital, I…well I lost two clients which was really hard on my mindset. I was like, you've just gone through the hardest surgery of your life and you're upset because you've lost two clients. But they obviously, like you know, I'd gone and then I'd come back and they're like, well you know, we've kind of reassessed things. Yeah…The start I was really gentle on myself and that was good, I needed that.

But then once I started getting interest, you know, new people wanted to start working with me. I had this massive opportunity to work with a startup, with like you know, I think it was, like five figure month. I earned the most in my business I'd ever and I was like, yep, I'm taking it, and it killed me. And I went back to Melbourne, then got stuck in lockdown in Melbourne. And I remember mum and dad would come home from work and I hadn't even eaten lunch. And I was on the couch crying because I just can't get all the work done that I thought I could.

And they're like, what are you doing to yourself? And mum literally had to make food and put it on the counter so that I would eat lunch. Otherwise, like, I would just forget. And I just wasn't looking out and that's just so crazy to go through such hell and then not spend time focusing on your body. But like this old me was like, yeah, I can do it. I can grow and scale my business and I can do all the things. And but it was also hard because I wasn't drinking alcohol anymore. Going on dating apps was weird. Like, it felt weird. I didn't feel sexy or like none of these things that I felt. I didn't feel any of it.

Like my body, although I love my scar now so much, but like it was just my body and I lost so much weight. So I looked like, so if everything keeps making. Oh but I’m doing alright? Yeah, I know I lose fifteen or ten kilos so just, you know, just get, just get two tumours. Um, but yeah, I, like, I just didn't like the whole dating app thing. It was just, it was really hard for me to enter the life but I was pushing a lot, pushing a lot on that. And then I burnt out like I burnt out. And then I started to get sick again and I did end up having another surgery in 2022.

But, yeah I just, I pushed too much and I had a complete identity crisis. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what I wanted. I couldn't remember why I started my business. Like, I couldn't remember anything. I just, like, and I also took on the identity of being sick. I was sick. I can't do that. I'm sick. I can't. And like, I'd get really frustrated when people are like, come on, come, can't, I'm sick, I can't. Like obviously, doctors recommend don't gym, don't run. Uh, but I was completely like, I can't do any of that, I'm sick, I can't do it.

And I completely identified myself in that. And it was hard. Like, it was really hard. No one talks about like the surgeon's so worried about getting that stuff out of your body. Yeah. But no one helps you. And yeah, you have the social workers that come to the hospital. She never came back. She gave me some, I stole the pencils she gave me because she never came back for them. I was like well they're mine now. But there's no support after that. And it's really lonely and I didn't know anyone that had a Whipple's that was at my age. Usually, it's done for pancreatic cancer over the age of sixty on average or fifty-eight. I've been doing a lot of research for my book. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. I started creating content to feel less alone. So I created content on TikTok. Um, I tried to be mindful of what I shared because I didn't want people to diagnose themselves. Yes. Um, but I because I was still that sick victim I think my old content on TikTok is a little bit different to what I create now which, yeah, I've kind of but I think you do have to go through that experience to learn where you want to be next.

Teisha: Yeah, and it's really interesting as well. I think I call myself a slow learner. I had so many massive MS relapses in a row, and I kept thinking, "Come on, you know you need to prioritize your health and well-being. What are you doing?" But it's the same. You know, I was still the same perfectionist; I still had the drive to do well in what I was doing. You know, I had the career change, brought the same mindset to it. You still push yourself. You know, you start your business, you're still the same as you were in corporate. You still pushed yourself because I think we take some of our self-worth as to how and what we achieve, you know, in our business and, after, you know, other aspects of our life as well. So, that is a tough lesson to learn. And it really is, and we've talked about this before, about living in alignment. So you're really thinking, "Okay, my health and well-being, I don't want to be back in the hospital again. Health and well-being is my priority. How do I honour that? How do I ensure that remains on top?" And it's big changes that have to happen. And that's really tough because I think sometimes we think, "Whipple's has won," or "MS has won," or "cancer has won," because I'm not the person I was before. So that's really tough.

Teisha: Um, so how did you start? Because, if we fast forward, let's give everyone a bit of an insight into, you know, how you flick to the end of the story to say, "You know, things are great." So where you are now is absolutely amazing, but somehow you've gone from that frustration and getting sick, over to changing your life incredibly. So I guess, yeah, give us an insight into where you are as I talk to you right now, and how did you sort of manage to get making these massive changes. 

Mariah: Yeah, well, I spoiled a little bit, I am in South America. Um, so, yeah, I'm right now as I speak to you I'm in South America. I'm travelling with my partner who is South American, and he was a big part of me changing my life, to be honest. I always wanted to be a digital nomad. That's why I started my business. Always wanted to travel. That was my absolute goal. I worked so hard to get there, and I'll never forget having a session with my coach, sort of in that identity crisis I was, I just felt every day I felt garbage. I didn't want to wake up. Like, I just felt so bad. It's like that's the most depressed I've ever felt. Like even in hospital, I felt like I wasn't as bad because I felt like you had something to work towards even though I had my business, I had so many things. I just, I dreaded it, I did, I wasn't aligned to where I was at in that time of my life. And obviously, COVID doesn't help, I don't, it didn't help anyone. Like I'm uh in this crazy lockdown. And also like there was a part of my journey because I didn't know if I had cancer. Like there was no indication that I did until the nurse said to me, "Oh so what cancer do you have?" I'm like, "I don't have cancer." She's like, "Oh okay." And it took like a month for them to tell me that I did have cancer but they've got it all. And I still see my oncologist now, and I have an awesome team, but I guess it was also that like, "Yeah, like that. Well, like you know, can I do these things? Like you know, I've still got doctors to see, I've still got tests to get, I'm still not out of the woods, you know what I mean?" Like there's still that mindset. And I remember my coach saying, like, "What…okay, your goal was to travel. That's all you ever wanted to do if tomorrow the borders open…Yeah, would you travel?" So regardless of your sickness, the way your business is, that now, can you try? I said no. Uh, I work like…crazy woman, I work seven days. I, well we need to fix this. So shout out to my coach Leticia Andrews, I still work with her now. She really supported me on like the vision, what do you want regardless of being sick, regardless of having too many clients that you can't keep up with, what do you want? Why did you start this? And it was travel. It was always travel. So she said, book yourself a holiday as soon as you can. Take time off work and find yourself. She said, "Go alone, go into the woods." Well, I wasn't ready for that. My best friend as soon as lockdown had sort of finished, not in Melbourne but in Country Victoria, and I went to a small town called Bright. And if anyone listened before, it is a beautiful town. And my friend really wanted to go. And I was like, "I've already been but alright, let's go." And we, because when you're with your girlfriends, you're very single, you get on social uh dating app.

And I find this guy called Jean, I'm like, "Jean”. That's, and he's laughing as I'm saying, "That's an old woman's name but let's swipe you up. Beautiful smile." Anyway, I start talking to him and he says, "I'm from Columbia" and I turned to my friend, I said, "I have to meet him, I'm not an Australian, it's always been that Mariah was going to end with an international partner. Like there's no question about it, I always liked exotic." Anyway, so we, we catch up with him and literally like the rest is history. We're like, "You are my person." And we had so many of the same goals. Like he had a marketing degree. He was here studying English. He loved travelling but always wanted to travel, that was his goal. And I was like, "Well I work in marketing. I always wanted to travel," like it was literally like meeting your soulmate.

Like I can't explain it in any other way. Like I was a bit hesitant because you don't know, like you know it's lots of stereotypes about South American men, but they are very genuine. Amazing people, I think it's just stereotypes. Um, but you know, you're always very hesitant when you meet someone, "Oh yeah right oh I've heard all that before," but no, he like obviously it was just, it was you know one of those moments that's like love at first sight, but also like it takes time to grow and flourish. But completely, he really, you know, saw that there was more to life than just you know working. Like I really started to prioritize growing that relationship because that's what you have to do always. But when you first start a relationship, you really have to nurture it. And it felt like it gave me something to focus on, you know like myself, the inner work because a lot of inner work comes when you meet your person because then all, yes, old relationship stuff comes up. So I have to do a lot of inner work on the trauma of that but then like heal it five hours away.

So like we did long distance for quite a while. So there's just a lot of different commitments that I had to focus on. It wasn't my business; it wasn't being sick. And there was a few hiccups along the road, like the first time I went to see him for the weekend. We may have indulged in food and I may have had what we called a Whipples attack which, um, it's not pretty. Anyway, you know you can talk about it really, really. I'm in your relationship, you can get to anything, right? Like, you know farts and poos if you talk about it in the first, you know few weeks and they don't think you're, you know I think the whole gals don't poo is ridiculous, but you know there are men that…we got over that really early. And then uh we just worked together towards what we wanted to create. And then we moved to the Gold Coast, um, we and then we decided stuff it. Like let's…let's travel full time and we lived in our car for five months which is just wild, like thinking back like what were we thinking. You know I was like, you know who knows with my bowel, like what's going to happen. But we it just you just don't overthink it, right? And that's the process. And we've travelled Europe. Um and now we're in South America. We're at the end of our journey. We've been here for five months. My Spanish is a little bit better but not much better. But I just have more purpose than just, like some days don't get me wrong. That you know being quote-unquote like life-changing illness you know like having these things that always remind you, hello, I'm here.

But um, I listen a lot better than I did before. And I'm a slow learner, I'm still learning every day. Like I still like Easter, we've still bought chocolate even though I know sweet kills me. You know I know there's certain things that don't agree with me and I still eat them. I'm very good with the onion and garlic now, I do very much call my boundary on that, but I think like, yeah, just being able to work towards something, having a dream and having a goal. And then also like having the people in the support network around you to make that possible. And I had you know my coach, I had friends that like my parents were really supportive of my journey, but having Mitch, like it made it less scary. I had someone to do it with. Because I've ended up in hospital when I lived in Sydney on my own. And my parents said to me like, "We're so glad we, you met Mitch because we know you want to travel but we sleep better at night knowing that if something happens you have someone there." And I was always that strong independent woman, don't need no man. But you know, sometimes you just, you know you have to, you need that support. And like, call an ambulance for yourself to go to hospital at 2am in the morning is not fun. And I, I don't want to do this alone. I don't want to do it alone. You know if there's days where I do have you know a bit of a moment, you know he'll buy food, cook, make sure I eat good, you know he meant like I got sick in like uh two months ago, three months ago. He, you know, bought all the fresh fruit, made me juice, like brought me water. And like, it, you can't, and when you're sick and you're on your own, you don't look after yourself because you can't. Yes. Like, you, you actually, like, you know I couldn't get out of bed. And if I got out of bed, it'll scare the toilet. So, yeah, I think having that support network, having that dream, and that's a lot of what you teach, right? Like the fundamentals of what you teach, and meeting you and you really like supporting me on my journey, has is a constant reminder and um just like going strength to strength, because I have these toolkits or these like this road map in place to go like, you know what's the next dream. And I know like, we're not going to travel for the rest of our lives but we have so many exciting plans that I know like I'm going to be here for a long time. Like, there's no option. Like, that's what it's about. Like I'm here for the long haul, you know. Um, so I think having those plans and you know, doing those things like, the vision work and the visualization, and I'm really big on that because, um, yeah, that's how I get excited. I'm, I'm very like, I have a massive imagination. My dreams are wild. They've always been wild. Um, and I'm the type of person that's driving and like thinking about my wedding or know thinking about something or like I'm on the bus and visualising my first dance at my wedding. 

Like, the other things that, um, I've always been like that as long as I can remember. So I try to hold on to that as much as I can.

Teisha: And I think that's amazing, and I think what happens is when we go through—and this is what happened to me—when you go through the actual trauma and that real dark period of doctors' rooms, tests, surgeries, all of that, you do give up on your dreams. And that's when you need them more than ever because to get out of that darkness you need some momentum to get you going, and what better momentum than having this amazing dream.

And what I love about what you've done is you have these dreams but you're still prepared to do things differently. You know, even you did the out of the back of the car, living in the car instead of taking on South America straight up, you know, COVID or not, let's test it. Let's see what happens here. And then okay, that gives me confidence. So then let's, you know, step it up. Let's do something else.

And it really sometimes when I'm saying unimagined possibilities can happen, I think people are thinking, 'Yeah, that this sounds a bit of a, you know, BS or whatever,' but it's so true. Like you meeting your partner like Mitch, is a beautiful person, and having him by your side. And no one will see this, but as Mariah's talking with her hands, you see her beautiful ring now on her finger.

And when you're lying in hospital thinking I'm alone and you know you don't want to be hanging out with your parents all the time in your twenties, you wouldn't have been thinking, 'I'm going to be proposed to.' Where were you when you were proposed to?

Mariah: In Colombia, in the north of Colombia in the Caribbean, actually, on an island in the Caribbean.

Teisha: Like if someone said if you had thoughts on, 'Yeah I was dreaming of being proposed to by a Colombian in the Caribbean,' they'd be like, 'Well you know, get going with that,' but, you know, it's incredible all these amazing things are happening.

And what I love as well is not only you're doing the travel, it's really difficult continuing on with your career. When you've got an illness, I've found that perhaps my greatest challenge, but you've done that as well.

 

CONCLUSION

 

Okay, so we're going to leave it there as a bit of a cliffhanger. Mariah and I go on to discuss resilience and what happens when life keeps getting interrupted. I'll put that episode together for next week. But for now, let's celebrate Mariah's amazing Hurdle2Hope® Story—from where she was only a few years ago to talking to me in Bolivia, to being proposed to by an amazing man in the Caribbean. Her life is so incredible. 

It's hard to convey the dark periods she went through a few years ago, but to now have all these amazing experiences while managing her health condition is truly remarkable. I also really encourage you to follow Mariah on Instagram. She's 'Content Queen,' and some of the reels she puts together are fantastic. I'll include a link in the show notes.

And I have a quick favor to ask. If you know someone struggling with a health condition right now, share this episode and tell them about Wellbeing Interrupted. The more we share the podcast and get five-star reviews, the more stories like Mariah's we can share and the more people who will want to come on the podcast.

Thank you again for listening, and I look forward to connecting with you next week for the second part of Mariah's story.